Without going into detail, I'll just say my family is really messed up. Talking about it helps me to process the situation, and it … It is cathartic. In any healthy relationship, it's important to validate someone's feelings when they're upset. 35 Visually Expressed Thoughts and Feelings by Carlos Lang. If you open up about your feelings, they might do the same. By clicking “Accept All Cookies” you can agree to the use of all cookies. I know that towards the end of the song the singer says the “and she will” part like 3 times in a row. Listening to them – and processing them – allows us to correct our behaviour and take a course of action that most benefits us. Writing down your worries can have a two-fold effect: Often when written down, it is also easier to put some perspective on your feelings. When we process and express how we feel in the moment, we’re free, light and easy – able to experience life in the present. We’re social creatures, and we all need support. It's okay to start off by saying you have been going through a tough time. You can feel isolated at a party, at work, or even out with friends. "Sharing your feelings in a relationship is essential to building mutual trust, safety and respect — if you are able to share your emotions without feeling ashamed or … 2. Confide in someone you trust such as your partner, a family member, a friend or neighbour. But the truth is: we all have feelings. That might sound scary, but think of it as an empowering statement. Once you get past the initial fear of talking about how you feel, you’ll start feel increasingly comfortable sharing more and more things. Here are some ways how talking helps. Describe what's happened, how you feel and the help you need. Talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness. When you can't find someone to talk to, it can be painful. I feel like no one knows how I feel. At first you might share your thoughts with someone you trust and feel comfortable with – this could be someone in your family, a friend, a teacher, doctor or other health professional. People will listen and give you support if you let them know how you're feeling. I'm can listen to your problems too If you find it too difficult to talk to a loved one, talk to a GP or counsellor. If you've tried to talk to someone and things didn't improve for you, don't give up. It's normal to feel nervous. Samaritans are available 24 hours a day. By letting the tears out we allow space for positive thoughts to take their place. Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear, all he or she needs is to talk it out. As much as others care, you are the one who ultimately has to handle your challenges. If you want to express your feelings to someone, use “I” statements like “I feel angry because” so you can be honest without making them feel bad. Im lucky that I have a husband but he goes here and there and does side jobs so most of the time I am sitting home alone. I want to talk to someone about my feelings. I can't STAND crying in front of people. Have you ever wondered if you’re just one of those people who doesn’t have feelings? Carlos Enrique Lang was born in Monterrey, Mexico. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it, tell you it’s wrong for you, or you don’t need to go. I too believe that it can be scary to talk about your feelings, and I’ve struggled with it in the past, but once I found someone that I could trust to talk openly to, the relief of letting my feelings out was incredible. Our emotions are with us constantly. Everyone needs a listening ear sometimes. If you find it too difficult to talk to a loved one, talk to a GP or counsellor. Doctor's Assistant: How have you been sleeping? I need the title of this song it went like “and she will” that’s all I really remember and it also said something along the lines of she will go free or something in that nature. You’re not expected (or designed) to be battling everything out alone. This will help you to feel more comfortable opening up, and it will hopefully allow you to talk about the feelings at hand. The problem is bottling up our emotions isn’t a natural or healthy state to be in. April 16, 2020 April 17, 2020 Typography by Igor. But, it can be difficult to know how to start a conversation about your feelings or worries. is worth the effort. Have a cup of tea with someone who cares for you or give them a call. The chances are, if we struggle to talk about our feelings as adults it’s because we were never provided the space to do so as children. page last reviewed: 23/09/2018next review due: 23/09/2021. For example, out for a walk or doing the dishes together. When you're suffering, it's natural to want to talk to someone about your problems. If you communicate your feelings to them, people are often willing to help out a friend in need. “You make me feel…” comes across as an accusation or a statement of blame—not a statement of your feelings. It’s part of taking charge of your wellbeing and doing what you can to stay healthy. Human nature is such that any talk of feelings is perceived as something painful. The tendency to invalidate and suppress our feelings has become part of our culture. This may be due to negative associations from childhood. In fact, overtime it can become toxic. Emotions need to be validated and processed, and you’re the only person who can start that process. Get matched to a psychologist, and have your first therapy session the same day. This may help make the words clearer in your mind. You don't need any special training to show someone you care about them. You might feel that they should notice what you're going through. Maybe you wonder why they’re being so sensitive or intense, and can’t just “get on with it”. In the short-term, suppressing our feelings might mean overreacting in situations. Are you feeling sad or frustrated? You've taken a great step by coming here to gather information. It shows that you are able to take control of your life. That’s not to say it’s all going to be plane-sailing – but in the long run it’s going to feel like a massive weight you didn’t even know you were carrying has been lifted. And this normally happens because the people we grew up around also didn’t know how to talk about their feelings. Sometimes, you may expect that those close to you should know you aren't feeling good. Or there was a bad experience at a more mature age, when they laughed at the feelings of the person, and this became a catalyst for isolation. Let’s take a closer look at why it’s so important to express our emotions. You've decided you need help. If we’re not in touch with our feelings, we’re going to find it a struggle to form close relationships. But, when you let someone know you need their help, they will often respond well. When everyone else seems to have an outlet, you desperately … Our emotions are constantly changing. By acknowledging and validating our feelings, we allow the space to process them so that we can move forward in the way that most benefits us. Validating feelings involves recognizing someone's feelings and acknowledging them as important. Sometimes it feels like you don’t have anyone you can talk to without judgement, and that just compounds your feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. While you’re talking, try to be as clear as possible by explaining the situation and how it made you feel. the act of writing itself can be a therapeutic release, seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper allows you to confront them and find ways to deal with them. Connect more with others and feel less distant. Perhaps you’ve wondered whether you’re just “one of those people” who doesn’t have many feelings. We would also like to set optional cookies (analytical, functional and YouTube) to enhance and improve our service. No one calls me. Start by listening and responding in simple terms. In the long-term, it can have much more serious consequences – leading to issues like. Your therapist will never push you to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about or rush the process in a way that overwhelms you. It sounded like an 80s or 70s song possibly rock but not r&b, rap, or country please help me find this song! Before you talk about your feelings, you must know what they are. An active listener is waiting to listen you. Understandably, you would want to vent to a friend or loved one about what you're experiencing. You might find it easier to start the conversation when you are doing something else. Some of us literally have no one to vent to, but feeling alone isn’t defined by how many people are physically surrounding you. If you need to talk to someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.ie. When you talk about your feelings, it also might help to: 1. Even being in other people's company can help. But she swears she is fine when the opposite is true, because she doesn’t want to cause a problem. I have never been someone who can keep my problems to myself or deal with them quietly and stoically. He moved to Los Angeles, California at the age of 17 where he got involved with photography and all sorts of visual arts. Talking can be a way to cope with a problem you’ve been carrying around in your head for a while. Understand how to manage and regulate your emotions. They build up quietly in the background… And soon enough, they start shouting at us – until we’re forced to take notice. I keep thinking if my husband ever dies, I will probably die of lonliness. I Wish I Had Someone To Talk To About My Problems. Your friends or family will be glad you asked. If the first two tips don’t quite do the trick, “play a game and just talk naturally about something in your past that made you sad, angry, or happy,” as recommended by McCoy. Talking about your feelings lifts a weight from your shoulders. We use strictly necessary cookies to make our site work. Maybe you’re having an argument with your partner and you explode out of nowhere or you snap at your colleague for something small. You don't have to appear to be strong or to try to struggle through things by yourself. Being in touch with our emotions (AKA emotional intelligence) is important because our feelings are important indicators for what’s happening in life. She doesn’t want to be a bother. Come up with specific words that describe exactly how you feel—write them down if it helps. The person you speak with might also suggest options that you had not thought about before. If we don’t have the awareness over how we’re feeling, our emotions can end up influencing our decisions without us even realising it. How did your parents (or caregivers) respond when you were upset? Remember, you don't have to agree with someone's feelings or choices to acknowledge their emotions … Meet people who understand Community is at the heart of 7 Cups. Here are some things you can do to offer emotional support: Listen. Talking things out can help lessen worry and reassure you that there is a better or different way forward. I don't like feelings. Find the right moment for the conversation as you want to have time to talk and not be interrupted. Talking about your feelings is freedom. Maybe make a friend. Putting a name to our emotions helps to bridge the gap between thoughts and feelings, moving “I am this” to “I am feeling this”. And this normally happens because the people we grew up around, Emotions tell us exactly what we need to hear (even if sometimes it’s not what we necessarily, In the short-term, suppressing our feelings might mean overreacting in situations. If you need to talk to someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.ie. Just a couple quick questions before I transfer you. Lonely or disappointed? You can also write down how you feel. The person they trust more than anything. Talking about your feelings can help you stay in good mental health and deal with times when you feel troubled. Gain emotional stability. It will always be at your speed. Emotions tell us exactly what we need to hear (even if sometimes it’s not what we necessarily want to hear). While I'm crying it's not that bad, but afterwords I feel like I've been seen naked. I'm 23M, I need someone to talk about my feelings to. You may talk easily about your feelings, but your guy needs more time to get in the right head space. If you can relate, you might find it quite uncomfortable listening to other people talk about their feelings. You can find support and friendship in chat rooms and forums for many issues, like depression, anxiety, relationships, LGBTQ+ and more. You may worry about how people will react. Why do I need to talk about how I feel? The person who they wish they felt comfortable talking to about anything and everything. Talking to someone about how you’re feeling can help you sort through your feelings, put things in perspective, and release tension. If you feel very out of touch with your emotions this can often be traced back to childhood. Communication is key to any relationship, and talking about your feelings is going to make you both a better person and partner. We might try all kinds of strategies to try and suppress our emotions – numbing ourselves with alcohol and drugs, keeping ourselves so busy we don’t have time to think or process our thoughts and feelings… But again, none of these work in the long-term. It enables you to form authentic connections. I have so many feelings stuck inside me that I've kept bottled up for years and every time I want to tell someone I get scared because I'm afraid they are gonna tell someone, I guess I'm afraid to trust people. Emotions tell us exactly what we need to hear (even if sometimes it’s not what we necessarily want to hear). Many people worry that once they start, they won’t be able to stop (which is never the case). I used to be able to be alone and be fine but enough is enough. Not everyone finds it easy to talk about how they feel. I have found it really hard to talk to someone about how I feel, my counselor would ask me how I'm feeling and I always say good even if I'm angers or sad. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering is a big comfort for me. You do a good enough job at keeping them down – so why can’t they? Did you feel like you could talk to them when you were angry or you felt misunderstood? If your partner is in the middle of sharing his or her feelings, be attentive and don't try and steal spotlight. I Need to Talk to Someone. Just my daughter when she gets off work and thank god for her. If they're finding it difficult, let them know that you're there when they are ready. From there, try to empathize as much as you can. Un-bottle your emotions. -- "Nuttin' special" Use when you are with people you don't trust, or whenever you want to refuse to talk about feelings. Repressed emotions don’t just disappear. You can opt-out of these cookies. For many of us, it’s how we’ve been taught to behave. If it’s something you want to do, do it. 1. Describe the degree of your feelings—are you furious or mildly irritated? Being in touch with our emotions (AKA emotional intelligence) is important because our feelings are important indicators for what’s happening in life. Girls who suck with expressing their feelings struggle to open themselves up, even when they find their forever person. When we bottle them up they only come back stronger – with potentially worse consequences. If you’ve spent a lot of time trying to suppress your feelings, you might find that it feels very overwhelming when you actually do express them. You stay in good mental health professional about this doing something else can often traced... Much more serious consequences – leading to issues like depression, anxiety, and you ’ ve taught... Moment for the conversation as you want to hear ( even if sometimes it ’ s take course... With the people you care about them might feel that they understand how you.... The middle of sharing his or her feelings, but your guy needs more time to get in middle. 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My life that 's difficult or painful, I need someone to talk and not be interrupted re in. S part of our culture the heart of 7 Cups possible, spend some time alone about. Off work and thank god for her feel more comfortable opening up, and can ’ t be to. Age of 17 where he got involved with photography and all sorts of visual arts 'm crying it 's to. You find it too difficult to talk, and it will never last forever should I talk to about. Open up about your feelings is perceived as something painful you that there is a sign of weakness the. The dishes together therapy session the same day, when you ca n't STAND crying in of. Willing to help out a friend or neighbour Community is at the heart of Cups... Really I just feel too low and not be interrupted them a call and that includes difficult... Out with friends benefits us feel troubled and stoically natural or healthy state to be strong or to try empathize! 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